going against our better judgement. - Subaru WRX Forum
 
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post #1 of 11 Old 09-20-2007, 05:00 AM Thread Starter
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going against our better judgement.

As you get older you become wiser and i am not saying that i was not a smart dude when i was in my teens and early 20's. it is just that the game gets a little bit more complex but i have realized that you should never go against two things. your gut feeling and the first thing that comes to mind(better judgement). especially when it come down to relationships. I was told that you will see a person true colors in 6months to 1 year. oh how so true have that been. i posted months ago about my current relationship costing me a lot of money and when i seen this occur i should have went with a) my gut feeling and b) my better judgement and broke up with this person. instead i went with option c) "its bad but not that bad". there are only a few in this world that look at things that way. those are the ones that have not been torn apart by others stupidity,negativity and pure selfishness. The ones that believe that a "players game can be changed in the 9th ining".NOT POSSIBLE

I know some of you are thinking this dude is only worried about money? nah! the money now is just a big issue. Christmas of last year got a her a coach bag plus i gave her $400 what i get? nothing. not even a month later she needed $300. this time i only gave her $150. then two weeks later she crashed my car. costing me 1600 dollars in rapair. i paid for it cash so that it wouldnt make her insurance go higher. And inbetween all of this i went against*again* my better judgement and moved in with her. hoping to help her with a financial troubles. Not soon after moving in i noticed why she was in such financial difficulties. calling off work constantly. So again i went against my *better judgement* and we found a house together. Ahhh haaa now the real person comes out. She started to treat me like straight garbage, talking down to me. hell her dog gets better treatment then i do lol And i started to see things for what they were when i started my car club up. she complained that i never invited her to our gatherings. so i took her to one and not even 10 mins later she wanted to leave. next we were having a cruise and then going to eat at a local restaurant. i asked her if she would come. She said "hell no i dont want to be around your hillbilly friends and i dont eat that cheap crap". at that point i was like oh ok. she dont suprise me anymore. i have seen my rainy day money go from 4k+ to only $35 in about one year, she dont know about the raise i got at work. The thing that is eating at me is the fact that i am not sending money to my son the way i was before i met her and my mom is in some financial difficulties and i cant help her. i make pretty damn good money but i have to constantly worry about what she cant cover and what money will be needed because some utility might get disconnected. i paid 50 bucks for a backpack for school and this chick just about lost it. now she claims that i dont have any money because i paid for school, what she didnt know was that i had to take a lown out to pay for school when in fact i should have been able to pay for school with one paycheck.there is so much more but i will not allow my self again to go against my better judgement.i am not upset and i am in fact proud of mysefl because the last relationship it took me 7 years to see that i was not being treated well and this one it only took me 1. i recently purcahsed a brand new bedroom set, washer and dryers and when i move out she can keep them. just as a reminder that she lost someone good.

Last edited by dremers; 09-20-2007 at 05:12 AM. Reason: needed to add more.
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post #2 of 11 Old 09-20-2007, 08:28 AM
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Jeez man that's horrible. I don't understand how people can be like that and think it's alright, I just don't comprehend. Well if your not married to her (pretty sure your not if it's only been a yr) you need to get out as soon as possible. You don't deserve that from someone who obviously only cares about themself. You need to help your mom and son out, like you said, and ditch that chick man. I'm sorry that happened to you, at least it wasn't 7 yrs long.

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post #3 of 11 Old 09-20-2007, 08:48 AM
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Man thats a brutal story! ! I'm a personal banker, you have no idea how often I see this happening. As an example(not that we need one but) client who is a heavy equip operator (making $120K+/yr) they have been together for 21years 2 kids house etc. Anyways he works a rediculous amount of hours and eventually has to take some time off due to health problems. She has maxed them out (Mortgage, line of credit, 6 credit cards etc) with her spending so he asks her to go out and get a job which she has never had to have since either of the kids were born. She finds a job delivering car parts for local parts shop. works a week and disappears ... just doesnt come home for 3 days?! ?! He comes in to my bank to ask if we have seen her etc. Comes to find out that she worked for the week ... got a pay check, went to a little hillbillie bar and goes home with some guy. She then has the nerve to come into the bank crying about how hes such an asshole to her for making her work. She looks at me with a totally straight face and says "He made ME work?!" --- Long story short ... women can be FAQing Btiches! oh and as a follow up to that ... after he is through his health issues ... he takes her back .. he goes back to work .. and all is well! oh except for the fact that because she blew that paycheck at the bar and didnt deposit to her account, they bounced another mortgage payment and the bank has forclosed on their mortgage.
Shitty story ... dont wish it on anyone ... my question is though .... why do we take them back?
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post #4 of 11 Old 09-20-2007, 08:49 AM
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i stopped reading at she crashed my car.....kill the bitch. im just kidding, unless you already did. My best friend is going through things just like you. His girl is at college, living on campus and he has his own place. she uses him for everything. Money is just a good way to keep score. Its like in poker, You gotta know when to fold a bad hand. If you ever get to the point where you know the hand cant win, let it go. Trying to force something to happen that wont will not work. Very rarely to people really change who they are in life. Its not like one day your girl, or my buddies girl is going to wake up and say "wow, im such an asshole, i treat my wonderful boyfriend like shit and he deserves better. I better change myself to make things better." never going to happen, ever. That old saying why buy the cow when you get the milk for free. Why would she want to change anything in your relationship when she doesn't have to and you keep doing whatever she wants?

So my final advice........run. cut loose and get out now. then come back here in 6 months and tell us how life is.......
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post #5 of 11 Old 09-20-2007, 10:14 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dremers View Post
As you get older you become wiser and i am not saying that i was not a smart dude when i was in my teens and early 20's. it is just that the game gets a little bit more complex but i have realized that you should never go against two things. your gut feeling and the first thing that comes to mind(better judgement). especially when it come down to relationships. I was told that you will see a person true colors in 6months to 1 year. oh how so true have that been. i posted months ago about my current relationship costing me a lot of money and when i seen this occur i should have went with a) my gut feeling and b) my better judgement and broke up with this person. instead i went with option c) "its bad but not that bad". there are only a few in this world that look at things that way. those are the ones that have not been torn apart by others stupidity,negativity and pure selfishness. The ones that believe that a "players game can be changed in the 9th ining".NOT POSSIBLE

I know some of you are thinking this dude is only worried about money? nah! the money now is just a big issue. Christmas of last year got a her a coach bag plus i gave her $400 what i get? nothing. not even a month later she needed $300. this time i only gave her $150. then two weeks later she crashed my car. costing me 1600 dollars in rapair. i paid for it cash so that it wouldnt make her insurance go higher. And inbetween all of this i went against*again* my better judgement and moved in with her. hoping to help her with a financial troubles. Not soon after moving in i noticed why she was in such financial difficulties. calling off work constantly. So again i went against my *better judgement* and we found a house together. Ahhh haaa now the real person comes out. She started to treat me like straight garbage, talking down to me. hell her dog gets better treatment then i do lol And i started to see things for what they were when i started my car club up. she complained that i never invited her to our gatherings. so i took her to one and not even 10 mins later she wanted to leave. next we were having a cruise and then going to eat at a local restaurant. i asked her if she would come. She said "hell no i dont want to be around your hillbilly friends and i dont eat that cheap crap". at that point i was like oh ok. she dont suprise me anymore. i have seen my rainy day money go from 4k+ to only $35 in about one year, she dont know about the raise i got at work. The thing that is eating at me is the fact that i am not sending money to my son the way i was before i met her and my mom is in some financial difficulties and i cant help her. i make pretty damn good money but i have to constantly worry about what she cant cover and what money will be needed because some utility might get disconnected. i paid 50 bucks for a backpack for school and this chick just about lost it. now she claims that i dont have any money because i paid for school, what she didnt know was that i had to take a lown out to pay for school when in fact i should have been able to pay for school with one paycheck.there is so much more but i will not allow my self again to go against my better judgement.i am not upset and i am in fact proud of mysefl because the last relationship it took me 7 years to see that i was not being treated well and this one it only took me 1. i recently purcahsed a brand new bedroom set, washer and dryers and when i move out she can keep them. just as a reminder that she lost someone good.
You said it yourself-- your son and mother... You know what to do. I know what are going through though, it happens... You'll be alright and you'll forget about her after awhile...
Good luck...

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post #6 of 11 Old 09-20-2007, 11:05 AM
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run far far away. like everyone else said take care of your mom and son.
leave the bitch with nothing, take the bedroom set an waser and dryer with you. she dosent deserve it!

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post #7 of 11 Old 09-20-2007, 11:46 AM Thread Starter
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thanks a lot fellas. i appreciate it what you are all saying.
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post #8 of 11 Old 09-20-2007, 02:20 PM
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the only girl you need to be taken care of is ## wrx
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post #9 of 11 Old 09-20-2007, 04:18 PM
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Man sorry to hear about your situation. Been through it, its rough, but you know this cause you have been there also. Cut it while you can and get what you can. You know what you deserve and what you need in life. Take care of yourself and family first and the rest will follow.
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post #10 of 11 Old 10-14-2007, 12:21 AM
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I remember you talking about this girl months ago. Live & learn, bro. At least you didn't buy this gold digger a ring (I hope!).

It's been a couple of weeks since you posted this. And hopefully you didn't sign onto her lease when you moved in with her. So I hope that by now you've decided where you're going to move to, and what day you're going to load your stuff and blow out of her spot. You've got no moral or legal obligation to continue funding this con. So that her crying and screaming doesn't change your mind (she'll be losing her meal ticket - expect her to do all that she can to get you to stay!), move out on one of the (rare?) days that she's at work.

Go. Stay gone. Don't return her calls. Ignore her at all costs. Don't get pulled back into her trainwreck of a life. Sounds like you've got your act together, if not for being tied to her.

Just remember:

Fool me once... shame on you.
Fool me twice... shame on me.
Fool me three times... clearly you have found the right sucker to take advantage of.
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post #11 of 11 Old 10-23-2007, 07:41 AM
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Well hope things turn out for the better for you, not sure how far away you live from Belpre, OH, but if you need a place to get away to my door is always open...Relationships are a hard component of life to deal with, this coming from a guy that has seen his fair share of relationship let downs. Fear not though brighter days are always around the corner.

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